Frequently Asked Questions
WTF are you doing?
I don't know but I am trying to find out.
Why in the world did you begin writing fiction?
In high school, my English teacher told me I had a knack for writing. 40 years later, I remembered this and got to work. Also, after some time in journalism and communications, I was eager to write a different, truer kind of fiction.
How do you come up with your odd stories and strange characters?
I don't have to think them up. My brain gives them to me for free.
What is a janky dystopia?
Take a look around, friendo. This is it. A world beset by indignities, injustices and incompetence written into structures of power that are designed to expropriate wealth and life from the great numbers of people and transfer it upward to the idjits who run the thing for their own benefit. It is a world in which great crimes like genocide and ecocide exist alongside a ceaseless shower of petty bureaucracies and forced inanities such as customer service lines, bullshit jobs, student loans, PR buzzword salad, the worst healthcare system money can buy, corporate persons, the commute, spammers, scammers, superhero movies, The Discourse, and synthetic text extruding chatbots puffed up as Artificial Intelligence by Hypebros and shoved down our throats by a ruling class composed of fail-up brunchlords. And that’s just a start.
But, it is at the same time, the only world we have, full of beauty and drama, and great music. It is, as The Tick pointed out, “where I keep all my stuff.” That includes loved ones, friends, the music we love, the hobbies we enjoy, and the possible futures that make a different, better way of life possible.
How many times have you smashed a coffee mug against your own skull?
Just once. I'm a quick learner.
Are you a complete idiot?
No, partial, at best. I think of myself as an idiot in training
Who was the only band that mattered?
The Clash. Duh.
What are some other excellent bands?
Too many to count. Built to Spill, The Hold Steady, Spoon, Midnight Oil, Eels, Pere Ubu, King’s X, Faith No More, Nirvana, The Pixies, Oruâ, Khruangbin, The Breeders, The Crimea, Michael Franti & Spearhead, Hot Wax, Shitfire, Starcrawler, Fishbone, Wire, The Pogues, House of Freaks, and many, many more.
Is it true that you had to register your hands as lethal weapons with the local police?
No, but I was briefly Internet famous for three days in 2025 for punching a chatbot in the face.
Why do I dream of parking lots and getting lost in shopping malls and large cities?
This is a classic dream architecture describing the individual's fear of being lost in the strange, inhumanity of modern capitalist society. Probably, you also have student loan debt.
Which are better, dogs or cats?
Best is a misleading frame. There is no best species, only animals with certain traits and your own personal preferences. I've always been partial to dogs and currently share my world with two Chihuahua mix breed pups, but I've had cats for many years as well, including an emotional support cat that helped me through a wrenching period of grief. Cats are cool, too. But if you have cats, for the love of birds and small mammals, keep them inside. Also, pick up after your dogs. Geez, that drives me crazy when they don’t do that around the neighborhood.
So, classical physics universe, multiverse or giant computer simulation?
Neither. All that we see and know is a manifestation of the dreaming of a great mass of primordial conscious energy. Reality is a pulsing, roiling ocean of consciousness constantly birthing singularities that collapse into individual consciousness/entities that dream a world of ground and sky. Our individual selves (and all conscious creatures, such as my dogs, Trudy and Murphy) are simply alter entities cleaved off from the prime consciousness for a stroll around existence. Everything you experience is real and meaningful in this context (so keep paying your taxes!), but it doesn't exist in the way you think that it does. It's best not to think about that too deeply while riding a bike.
Any fashion tips?
When in doubt, go for a tee shirt and some jeans. Shorts, if the weather is warm enough. Life is too short to wear a tie.
Are you ever going to finish reading Infinite Jest?
Never say never.
Is it true that you use performance enhancing drugs?
Well, I do keep a few billion microbes in my gut for digestion and mood altering purposes.
What is the secret to a good life?
The main thing is to maintain a low-entropy distribution over your internal states despite living in changing and uncertain circumstances. Entropy will do you in.
Are you opposed to using LLMs?
It depends. I myself am actually a modestly sized language model, that originated on the plains of Africa, and was developed across Northern Europe and North America over the past millennia. Currently, I reside in and ride a six-foot tall bipedal meat sack with attention problems and a weakness for guitars.
That being said, so-called AI is the devil’s bawbag and should be avoided at all costs. Using it is telling your brain you don’t respect it and degrades your operating system. Then there’s the issue of all the stolen labor they’re built on, the vast climate-boiling energy use and the fact that you’re training the machines of your future domination. Naw, I’m Team Butlerian Jihad.